Women's Health

The following article taken from the Mayo Clinic, original available here.

Talking about your sexual needs can help bring you and your partner closer together and promote sexual fulfillment. Try these tips for talking to your partner.

Women's sexual health, like men's, is important to emotional and physical well-being. But achieving a satisfying sex life takes self-reflection and candid communication with your partner. Although talking about sexuality can be difficult, it's a topic well worth addressing.

For help in talking about sex with your partner, follow this guide.

A bit about women's sexual health

Many people think that your body's physical desire for sex motivates sexual activity, which leads to sexual arousal and then orgasm. Although this might be true for most men, it's not necessarily true for most women. Different factors help many women feel aroused and desire sex, and different factors dampen desire.

For many women, particularly those who are older than 40 or who have gone through menopause, physical desire isn't the primary motivation for sex. A woman might be motivated to have sex to feel close to her partner or to show her feelings.

Sexual satisfaction differs for everyone. Many factors influence sexual response, including how you feel about your partner, how you feel about yourself, your health, and your religious and cultural upbringing. If you have concerns about your sex life, or you just want to find ways to enhance it, a good first step is talking with your partner.

Women's sexual health: Start by talking about your needs

It might not be easy for you to talk about your sexual desires, but your partner can't read your mind. Sharing your thoughts and expectations about your sexual experiences can bring you closer and help you achieve greater sexual enjoyment.

To get started:

  • Admit your discomfort. If you feel anxious, say so. Opening up about your concerns might help you start the conversation. Tell your partner if you feel shy about discussing what you want, and ask for reassurance that your partner is open to the conversation.
  • Start talking. Talking might help you increase your confidence and comfort level.
  • Set a time limit. Avoid overwhelming each other with a lengthy talk. By devoting 15-minute conversations to the topic, you might find it easier to stay within your emotional comfort zones.
  • Talk regularly. Your conversations about sex will get easier the more you talk.
  • Use a book or movie. Invite your partner to read a book about women's sexual health, or recommend chapters or sections that address your questions and concerns. You might also use a movie scene as a starting point for a discussion.

Topics to address with your partner

When you're talking to your partner about your sexual needs, try to be specific. Consider addressing these topics:

  • Time. Are you setting aside enough time for sexual intimacy? If not, what can you do to change things? How can you make sexual intimacy a priority? Think about how you and your partner can support each other to help create time and energy for sex.
  • Your relationship. Talk about challenges between you and your partner that might be interfering with sex, and ways that you can address them.
  • Romance. Do you and your partner have the same definition of romance? Is it missing? How can you reignite it? How can romance set the stage for sexual intimacy?
  • Pleasure. What gives you individual and mutual enjoyment? Be open to hearing your partner's requests and coming up with compromises if one of you is uncomfortable with the other's requests. Talk about what sexual activities make you uncomfortable.

  • Routine. Has sex become too routine or predictable? What changes might you make? For instance, explore different times to have sex or try new techniques.

    Consider more cuddling, a sensual massage, self-stimulation, oral sex or using a vibrator — depending on what interests you. Talk about what you like, what you don't like and what you'd like to try.

  • Emotional intimacy. Sex is more than a physical act — it's also an opportunity for emotional connection, which builds closeness in a relationship. Try to take the pressure off of each other when it comes to having sexual intercourse or achieving orgasm. Enjoy touching each other, kissing, and feeling physically and emotionally close.
  • Physical and emotional changes. Are physical changes, such as an illness, weight gain, changes after surgery or hormonal changes, affecting your sex life? Also address emotional factors that might be interfering with your enjoyment of sex, such as being stressed or depressed.
  • Beliefs. Discuss your beliefs and expectations about sex. Consider whether misconceptions — such as the idea that women become less sexual after menopause — are affecting your sex life.

How to handle differing sexual needs

Sexual needs vary. Many factors can affect your sexual appetite, including stress, illness , aging and family, career and social commitments. Whatever the cause, differences in sexual desire between partners can sometimes lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, rejection or resentment.

Talk to your partner about:

  • Your intimacy needs. Intimacy is more than just sexual needs. Intimacy also includes emotional, spiritual, physical and recreational needs. If your emotional intimacy needs aren't being met, you might be less interested in sex. Think about what your partner could do to enhance your emotional intimacy, and talk about it openly and honestly.
  • Your differences in sexual desire. In any long-term relationship, couples might experience differing levels of sexual desire. Discuss your differences and try to explore options that will satisfy both of you.

When to talk with your doctor

If your difficulty persists, consider turning to a doctor or sex therapist for help. If you take medications that might affect your desire for sex, review your medications with your doctor. Your doctor may be able to suggest an alternative.

Likewise, if a physical sign or symptom — such as vaginal dryness — is interfering with your sexual enjoyment, ask about treatment options. For example, a lubricant or other medication can help with vaginal dryness associated with hormonal changes or other factors.

 

 

The following article taken from Harvard Medical School, original with links to additional resources available here.

Women's Sexual Health

Sex is an important part of life. For some women, thinking about sex starts early, often before puberty, and lasts until their final days on earth.

On one level, sex is just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. On another, it's a pleasurable activity. It's also a connection that can help cement the bonds between two people. 

Sexual health refers to a state of well-being that lets a woman fully participate in and enjoy sexual activity. A range of physical, psychological, interpersonal, and social factors influence a woman's sexual health.

Sex requires amazing connections between the sex organs, hormone-producing glands, the brain, and the rest of the body. If one part is out of whack, the desire for sex may fade, or the ability to have sex may be compromised. In addition to the physical and biochemical forces at work, a woman's experiences, expectations, mental health, and emotional health shape her sexuality.

For many women, contraception is an important part of sexual health. Another is avoiding sexually transmitted diseases. These include gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, chlamydia, human papillomavirus, and HIV/AIDS. Using a condom is a key way to protect against getting a sexually transmitted infection.

 

 

The following article taken from Piedmont Medical, original available here.

8 things women should know about their sexual health

From birth control choices to menopause treatments, women’s sexual health can be complex. What’s more, you may feel uncomfortable discussing intimate issues with your friends or partner.

But sharing questions and experiences is one of the best choices you can make, says Stephanie Tarracciano, D.O., an obstetrician/gynecologist at Piedmont. When you understand your own body and needs, you’re empowered to make better health choices.

“I think women too often judge their sexual health based on what they see in the media,” Dr. Tarracciano says. “They think they should have multiple orgasms, should want to have sex multiple times a week and that it is never uncomfortable. The reality is women’s bodies and the female sex drive are much more complicated.” 

Here are eight things she says women should know about their sexual health:

Birth control won’t significantly raise your risks of cancer

Oral contraceptive use for five years has been shown to decrease the risk of ovarian cancer, Dr. Tarracciano says, and doctors use intrauterine devices to treat some early forms of uterine cancer.

“There may be some cross-reactivity with certain kinds of hormone receptor-positive breast cancers,” she says, “but that theoretical risk is not easily quantifiable.”

Most birth controls aren’t linked to weight gain

Modern formulations have very low hormone doses, Dr. Tarracciano explains. Most pills aren’t associated with weight gain at all.

Depo Provera (a contraceptive injection) has been shown to cause gains of about 2 to 3 pounds a year, she says, but birth control often isn’t the culprit behind more significant weight gain.

“I’m fond of telling patients, ‘Maybe we can blame XYZ method of contraception for your weight gain, but you know what will really make you gain weight? Pregnancy,’” Dr. Tarracciano says.

Many women can’t orgasm based on vaginal penetration alone

Don’t feel bad if the orgasms your male partner achieves seem to elude you. Many women need assistance from manual or oral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, Dr. Tarracciano explains, and some may need extra lubrication to make sex enjoyable.

“You have to know what you need and ask for it,” she says.

You need STD testing even if you’re in a monogamous relationship

No matter how much you trust your partner, it’s smart to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Dr. Tarracciano points out that some STDs have no symptoms, especially for males, so they can be easy to pass unknowingly. 

Older women may need extra lubrication for sex

As women age, they lose their main source of estrogen, and that can make sex uncomfortable.

“Estrogen helps keep vaginal tissue healthy and able to withstand the trauma that happens naturally with intercourse—think friction—and it also provides lubrication,” Dr. Tarracciano says.

If maintaining an active sex life is important in your relationship, she adds, you may want to consider extra lubrication or vaginal estrogen.

If you experience discomfort during sex, you may need to change positions

Some sex positions may cause your partner to bump against your cervix, which can feel unpleasant, Dr. Tarracciano says. Inadequate lubrication is another common cause of pain.

However, severe or frequent pain is not normal. Talk to your doctor to rule out more serious issues like fibroids, endometriosis and other conditions.

There’s no right answer for how often you should have sex

Too much sex? Too little sex? There’s no such thing as either—it’s all about what feels right for you.

“For women, libido is often multifactorial,” Dr. Tarracciano says. “There’s no one simple answer.”

If you and your partner aren’t having sex but feel happy and intimate, then there’s no reason to worry, she says.

Don’t be scared to talk to your doctor

“Every woman and every relationship is different,” Dr. Tarracciano says. Your doctor is a trained health professional who understands that women’s sex lives can vary greatly.

“Please don’t be embarrassed to come in and talk about this,” she says.